The Sight Before Christmas

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas."
- Calvin Coolidge -

T'was five days before Christmas, when all through Korea,
Not a single noise was stirring, not even my diarrhea.
News of war was temporarily halted, just in time for the season
Though South Korea could relent, and give Kim Jong Il a beatin'.

My Korean students were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of me screaming nouns and adjectives haunted their heads.
And my co-workers in their suits, and I in my beanie;
Done with work, headed to a spa to show off my weenie.

When out on the horizon there rose such a clatter,
We all tuned in to CNN to see what the hell was the matter.
T'was the fat man himself, the infamous Kim Jong Il
"Be vigilant, be wary! T'is the South I will kill!"

He sprang to his podium, to his generals gave a whistle
And away they laughed, for they had a nuclear missile.
But, Obama quickly responded to how the North treats us
"You may have a big missile, but whose got the bigger penis?"

A Korean Christmas tale by Pao.

This is my first Christmas away from home, and it's a bit deplorable on my end to see all the festivities that's happening back home. But, cry not for me, Argentinians. We're all making the best of being away from home as much as we can. I'm not sure if I mentioned that in Korea the Christmas holiday is more of a commercial/love holiday. However, as foreigners, we shan't stand idly by as Christmas passes through. No, we will make noise and it shall be a joyous one!

At one of the Christmas parties, we had two large turkeys AND a buttload of gravy! You know I don't mess around with gravy! It's like my kryptonite.
Stuffing my chubby face per usual. Except, I'm eating a sliced apple instead of a deep fried cheeseburger.
Regina making boiled red wine with oranges and cinnamon.
Everyone partaking in the red wine concoction.
Mary with the forbidden fruit. It's a pomegranate, of course, however, as you can see I was wearing a white sweater and it stained red all over me by the end of the night. I got in the subway that night looking like I just annihilated an entire village.
Sung sang us a song. Say that five or eighty times.

I have got a very busy week in front of me. I am going to decide if I will stay in Korea by Wednesday, but in the meantime I'm trying hard to expand my options by applying to other nations where war is not inevitable. I've seriously considered applying to Canada. Who wants to attack Canada besides Montana? It's also my last week of teaching, so that means my vacation is just around the corner. I'll be headed north by Christmas time and then flying to Manila, Philippines by next week. I'm slowly getting things sorted, like paying my bills (my gas bill was fifty freaking dollars! That's for heating my floor! I need to start wearing sweaters, or Han Solo-ing my principal's stomach and crawling inside like Luke!) and I also need to start cleaning out my office desk. How surreal that one year has passed by so quickly.

Anyway, this will be my last blog of 2010 and I sincerely hope that you all have a great Christmas and an even better 2011.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you all next year!